Leaving for NY

So I am going to be leaving for New York on Sunday... and I am not allowed to use my phone the whole time...

So I would have liked to been able to talk to you before I leave... I understand that you made plans to watch tv with Chelsea... and play video games with Rhead...

But when have you made plans to spend anytime with me? o do I not get that time... Why do you not like me enough to want to spend time with me or talk to me....

Video games can be played tomorrow... tv can be watched tomorrow... but I wont be here tomorrow...

I still have this overwhelming feeling that I am not important to you... and I am trying to be understanding and not interrupt your time... but it hurts so much...  and you just are never going to get it... You feel guilty because you know you are not doing the right thing... and it hurts me....

I can't do it anymore...

Cliff Diving!!!

So yesterday I totally went cliff diving and jumped off huge rocks into really cold deep water.... I am awesome!!! :D and have the coooooolest job ever!!!!!!!!!!!

Home for the Weekend

Last night it rained in the mountains and I live right at the base of the forest so when it stopped raining last night the lightning bugs LIGHT UP the forest. It looked like a million little lights through out the trees... It was the most beautiful natural thing I have ever seen. Words cannot even begin to describe it. The trees looked like they were full of static or being electrocuted. *sigh* simply amazing!

Imagine this but an entire mountain side with a midnight black sky. And the lights twinkling. 

And this morning I got up and headed home for Fathers Day. I love love love love driving. I want to go on a road trip soooo bad!

First Youth Night Led By ME!!!!

Tonight was my first night to share what I have learned throughout my three years of college.

I had my first lesson to lead for the youth! It was great! I think they responded well and really thought about what I was trying to teach.

I do know that they hated my games!!! LOL oh it was sooo bad! Games that have always been a hit with other youth groups... oh totally bombed!


But it was a great night :)

Why?

Why do I do this to myself and when am I going to learn to be strong enough to know I deserve better then the things I allow myself to put up with and act on that knowledge.

Reconnecting with God

So in the past few days I have been in some deep conversation with God.... which hasn't happened in a long time and I think my head is slowly starting to clear up and I was fighting something quite a bit...

I just can't fight it anymore... There are somethings that I just can't ignore any more.

I still have a lot of learning and growing about myself and I know that I need someone that is going to grow spiritually as well and support me and challenge me in my faith. As well as wanting me to do the same for that person. I want to be able to have God fully present in my life and no relationship is going to work for me anymore if God is not fully present with in the relationship either.

I have a lot of weaknesses and I have a long way to go to get to my goals but I am starting to find some sort of inner self happiness again. And it feels so wonderful :)

I have also been working out and trying to eat right. I am super sore but it is starting to feel good :)

Lastest Readings

So I have been reading The 5 Love Languages and Boundaries in Dating... They are spiritually based books on relationships and self improvement... They are good so far.. every eye opening... 

Hiking Today!!!!

I went on my first hiking today.... wow oh wow! They did NOT start me off slow! It was sooo amazing! Way up on the mountain and barely even a trail. Lots of rocks and flowed a stream that lead to a beautiful waterfall.

On the way up I slipped and fell into the water. Which was still awesome! hahaha and on the way back I slipped and busted my butt twice. Would do it all over again and again. It was so beautiful! Will post pics later...

Then after that I came home and went out to Asheville with Jessica, my new sister lol. Went to the mall and bought some books... A few relationship and self improvement books. So I will read those and see what they have to say. 5 Love Languages is one of them. Maybe this one will help me understand the other side of love in other people....

Anyways... I had an amazing day! <3 Tomorrow is a fun day in Waynesville with the BFFs 

Lots Of Thinking

I have spent a lot of time for the past week reflecting and praying for some clarity on the things that are weighing on my heart so heavily....

I feel more confused then ever... I no longer know what I want in a relationship or if I even want one at all anymore or anytime soon...

I just want to know that God has a plan for me and that I will be guided to the one that was created for me....

I am tired of fighting for this image I have of my personal life... I want to be persuade and cared for.... I want actions for back up all the words... Actions... Yes... I want actions. 


I am sooo happy in the mountains and I am learning that I can be sooo happy and fulfilled by myself. I know it takes more than a week but I have had a great start!

I have been trying to eat right. Lots of fresh food and eating regular meals... and I have also been exercising. It isn't bad when you have the scenery of Lake Junaluska!

Tomorrow I have a fitness class at 6am and then going hiking through the mountains with the bosses to break in the hiking boots. :D Super excited!

I am starting to reconnect with God and a very deep level bc of where I am and what I am doing... In all my confusion... I am very clear with my knowledge that I need people in my life that are going to share my faith and be able to  spiritually push each other... Can't skimp on that at all anymore...

CRUD Kick Off!!!

So yesterday was my first event with the youth! It was a day full of fun messy games.
I spent time taking photos and stuff and then the last game was called Ice Cream Sundae and Jordyn (one of the youth) and myself were asked to demonstrate it. So that game was one person is blind folded and both people lay head to head on the ground and try to feed the other person an ice cream sundae.

So yeah this will be fun and a little messy. I can handle this. :)

But what I did not know was that it was a trap! I was blind folded and laid down on the ground. What I didn't know was that I was not going to be demonstrating but I was going to become the Ice Cream Sundae.

When Shawn said go.. Instead of being handed a bottle of chocolate syrup... 30 youth poured chocolate syrup, strawberry syrup, jars of cherries, and bottles and bottles of whip cream ALLLLLL OVER ME!!!!

I had noooooo clue it was coming... I have never been pranked and tricked so bad before in my entire life!

It was EVERYWHERE!!!

HAHAHAHAHA Tooooo Much Fun! Love these youth even though they shot whip cream up my nose and put cherries in my ears!  <3 Great night!

Finding God In Who I am To Be

Epilogue: The Wife of Noble Character

^10 [a]A wife of noble character who can find? 
    She is worth far more than rubies.
¹¹ Her husband has full confidence in her
    and lacks nothing of value. 
¹² She brings him good, not harm,
    all the days of her life.
¹³ She selects wool and flax
    and works with eager hands. 
¹⁴ She is like the merchant ships,
    bringing her food from afar.
¹⁵ She gets up while it is still night;
    she provides food for her family
    and portions for her female servants.
¹⁶ She considers a field and buys it;
    out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
¹⁷ She sets about her work vigorously;
    her arms are strong for her tasks.
¹⁸ She sees that her trading is profitable,
    and her lamp does not go out at night.
¹⁹ In her hand she holds the distaff
    and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
²⁰ She opens her arms to the poor
    and extends her hands to the needy. 
²¹ When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
    for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
²² She makes coverings for her bed;
    she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
²³ Her husband is respected at the city gate,
    where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
²⁴ She makes linen garments and sells them,
    and supplies the merchants with sashes.
²⁵ She is clothed with strength and dignity;
    she can laugh at the days to come.
²⁶ She speaks with wisdom,
    and faithful instruction is on her tongue. 
²⁷ She watches over the affairs of her household
    and does not eat the bread of idleness.
²⁸ Her children arise and call her blessed;
    her husband also, and he praises her:
²⁹ “Many women do noble things,
    but you surpass them all.”
³⁰ Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
    but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
³¹ Honor her for all that her hands have done,
    and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Long Day

Well it was a long day... got some stuff done in the office and I get to sleep in a little while tomorrow.

I have a lot on my mind. Not sure how to feel about some things and very unsure about the future. I just wish God was a little clearer with what my path should be. Or let me rephrase.... I wish I was able to understand and listen to God better. *sigh* we will see what the next few weeks should bring...

youth equal love

So I FINALLY got to meet the youth yesterday!... I adore them sooooooo much! So funny and smart!

They are a complete blast! Can't wait to grow on  spiritual journey with them this summer!

Also... my associate pastor looks just like Jason Segel! Two celebrities in the church! hahaha :)

Monday is my first day of office hours! :)

You sure do got a purdy mouth!

So yesterday was my first church service at Longs Chapel. It was very nice and I was introduced to a lot of very nice sweet people but my favorite was "Cowboy". Now let me describe Cowboy to you. I look to my left and there sat a man that met the ideals of a mountain man to the fullest degree! Here let me show you a picture :)

So there sat mountain man... and you see that squirrel? Yes that was there with him too. He had a squirrel sitting on his lap. A live squirrel! So we walk over there to talk to him and my boss goes.. "you don't recognize him?" noooooo... "you ever see the movie Deliverance?" yeeeaahhhh... "Hey Cowboy what was your line from that movie?... and then is happened. He looked at me and said... "You sure do got a purdy mouth..." O_O Yes people! I go to church with the man from Deliverance!!!!!!!!

Gonna be a god summer people... gonna be a good summer

Day 2 Part 2

Went to go meet my boss lady Jenni, her husband Albert, and their cat :)

We went out to dinner. The amount of times I have told my life story in the past few days is incredible... makes me wish it wasn't so long...

After an amazing dinner which was a  chicken sammich, we went to go watch some of the middle school youth preform their end of the year dance recital.

Soooo precious!

Good end to a very long day.

Got a text message yesterday and today... quite unexpected. Put a nice smile on my face! :)

Night!

Day 2 Part One

Today was Connie's grandsons bday. So the whole family was here. I woke up early and sat out on the porch with grandma and grandpa and connie and drank coffee. It is so cool and bright and great views of the mountains.

Went into town with Connie's daughter Jessica. We have lots in common and had great girl talk! :)

The house is full of people and the extrovert in me is now full... so I think it is time for a nap!


Also this place is the perfect place to have a house, be able to shoot in your back yard, have privacy, and also be close enough to stuff you don't have to drive 30 mins when you need something. If I could get over the winter months of snow I would love to live up here.

First Day!

So today I left at 7am in the morning to head to the mountains for the summer! I was super excited and very very nervous! I successfully beasted the mountains!

Got there around 10:30... got a little lost but I found my way! The church is soooo nice! I will post pictures soon.

All the church staff I will be working with are AMAZINGLY sweet and are so excited for me to be here with them! And the church is soooo cool! The youth hang out has so many cool things! Arcade games, air hockey table, whole band set up

I feel so loved!

We then headed to the family that I would be living with for the whole summer. Oh man oh man! They are the most amazing down to earth family I have ever met! Connie my summer mommy showed me around and insisted that I feel at home and oh boy do I!

Her family is so sweet and so welcoming! I already feel at home and really loved.

But one of the amazing things about Connie and her family is that they are a military family and have a lot of the same past experience as I do... I have already learned so much and can't wait to learn so much more!

The food is also soooo good! Connie is an amazing cook and showed me around the kitchen.... hahaha we like the same snacks :D So yummy :)

I also spent the afternoon driving around the town and learning the roads. The town is sooo cute. It has a little general store and a bunch of cute shops. Can't wait to explore them more!

The view is what really gets me though. The house that I am living at has a back porch that looks over the mountains... Breathe taking!

Tomorrow I have a birthday party, Dinner with the boss lady, and going to watch some of the youth in a dance competition.

Good day! :) http://www.longschapel.com/